In-Show Entertainment

There will be moments during the event where the spectators have to look away. Let's be honest. It's going to happen. Nobody could devote that much attention to something so foul. It's like sitting through Son Of The Mask in its entirety. Can't be done. Far be it from the 60 In 60 committee to neglect this aspect of the afternoon. If you're going to avert your gaze, we might as well give your gaze something to avert to.

On the big screen behind the participants, we'll be unspooling that modern day classic, Chicken Run.
La nouvelle coq'luche, indeed!

Special thanks to 60 In 60 superfan John Koester for coming up with the perfect motion picture accompaniment. Thank him when you see him, because I had picked Smokey & The Bandit for no discernible reason whatsoever.

Hey, Everybody! It's A Tiger-Squirrel!

@#$ yeah, it is! Feed it some nuggets before it goes for the hen house!

Player Profile: Brad Watkins

Brad Watkins is quite possibly the most unstable player in the game. I know that's hard to swallow - pun intended! - after seeing Gerald's profile, but it's true. Affectionately known as Swamp Thing, Brad is a creature of the night, patrolling the hallways long after all of you sucker MCs are safely tucked in your beds at night. Brad works the night shift not by choice, but by necessity. Employee safety was a major consideration when he was hired and the night shift was created entirely and exclusively for Brad.

Swamp Thing hadn't eaten at McD's for years before this event came up. You know why? Because he subsisted entirely on human flesh! You think I'm lying? Fine. Stick your finger in his face and try counting to ten afterwards. Nine will be as high as you could hope to go.

The good news is that he's got a softer side, just like Sears. If he winds up finishing his sixty nuggets first and proving his superiority, he plans on going to Disneyland. Isn't that cute?

In the end, though, I'm afraid of Swamp Thing. Come Thursday, the odd mixture of piles of meat, a crush of humans, and Brad out of his nighttime element could be the equivalent of mashing all of the carnage in the Friday The 13th movie series into a single ninety minute feature.

Watch yourselves and keep your hands in your pockets.

Do Mine Eyes Deceive Me?

It's either my eyes or my math that's failing me, or we have, in fact, closed within puking distance of $1000 in donations! We are currently at $924! That's astoundingly cool!

We've got one full week to go. As long as a few people don't blow their whole paychecks on booze this weekend, I think we can make it!

Please shame your cube-mates into at least donating at the penny-a-nugget level. It's a worthy cause.

Click here for more info regarding our chosen charity.

Player Profile: John Duncan

John was the last participant to sign up and I'd have to say that the look in his eyes when he confirmed his entry can only be described as "nausea." He's not doing well in the polls, but that's alright. I bet all those chumps eating Nathan's hot dogs counted out the little Japanese girl, right up until the point where she absolutely destroyed them in competition.

Meet John Duncan, our little Japanese girl:


John recently took an online test here and was encouraged when informed that he could handle thirty-four five year-olds in a fight. Doing a little creative calculus, our boy figured that one five year-old could easily eat two nuggets, so thirty-four kids would put John well over the sixty nugget requirement!

How Mr. Duncan plans on extracting two partially chewed nuggets from thirty-four five year-olds while doing mortal combat escapes me, but hooray for maths!

Player Profile: Gerald Tiu

"What was once a lifeless mass of dead tissue is now a sophisticated man about town!"
- Dr. Frankenstein (Gene Wilder), regarding The Monster in Young Frankenstein

He may have been talking about his beloved creation or perhaps he was talking about the extraordinary rebirth that occurs every time Gerald Tiu sits down at the dinner table. Or something. Don't believe me? Read these salient facts about the player who's leading the polls:

• Claim-To-Eating-Fame: 4 Surf & Turfs in one sitting.
• Favorite Food: Steak, with a side of Steak
• Favorite Sauce: Sweet & Sour, all the way
• Most McNuggets in one sitting: 20
• Scary Food-Related Moment: Once, at an all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ restaurant, he tried ordering more meat and was informed that there was none left. Danger!

The most important thing to remember when dining with Gerald is that all-he-can-eat includes all-you-can-eat, so keep your hands away from your plate or you're going to lose them.

The McNuggetini!

What goes better together than vodka and fakey chicken? Probably just about anything, really, but the fact that vodka will make a person very drunk is probably enough incentive to get some of your alcoholic friends to try this abominable concoction.

Ingredients:

2 McNuggets (plus more for snacking)
1 tub McDonald's Brand Barbeque Sauce (plus more for licking off pinky finger)
1 lg. McDonald's Brand Chocolate Milkshake (plus more for bringing all the boys to the yard)
1 bottle Vanilla Vodka (recommended brand: Absolut)

These ladies like the booze, because it keeps them thin.

Click here to read more about this over at Geekologie.

Player Profile: James Trousdale

Here are some things you need to know about James "Scavenger" Trousdale:

• His stomach was forged in our own sun.
• He is most commonly photographed while eating.
• James is responsible for keeping multiple tacquerias in Boston open, as well as for giving their employees RSI due to the frequency of his burrito ingestion.
• Dude once ate an entire two foot sheet cake while waiting in the checkout line at Safeway.
• He has been banned from pick-your-own berry farms.
• James dreams of consuming more than 30% of his body weight in a single meal.
• He enjoys pictures of baby ducks.

Whoa...