Player Profile: John Duncan

John was the last participant to sign up and I'd have to say that the look in his eyes when he confirmed his entry can only be described as "nausea." He's not doing well in the polls, but that's alright. I bet all those chumps eating Nathan's hot dogs counted out the little Japanese girl, right up until the point where she absolutely destroyed them in competition.

Meet John Duncan, our little Japanese girl:


John recently took an online test here and was encouraged when informed that he could handle thirty-four five year-olds in a fight. Doing a little creative calculus, our boy figured that one five year-old could easily eat two nuggets, so thirty-four kids would put John well over the sixty nugget requirement!

How Mr. Duncan plans on extracting two partially chewed nuggets from thirty-four five year-olds while doing mortal combat escapes me, but hooray for maths!